Time For Miracles
by bumblewolf
Summary: Adam Lambert wasn't the same after the breakup. Something inside of him broke and then he found the pill bottle.


Time For Miracles:

An Adam Lambert Story

Adam's POV:

I stumbled out of the club into an alley, clutching a bottle of whiskey. This was the third club I'd been to that night and only now was the buzz setting in. My vision swam as I groped along the brick wall, staggering out of the alley my mind filled with thoughts of him. His smile, his laugh, and that accent that I'd loved.

I made it out of the alley unscathed, but my breath had now become ragged, my throat closing up. I took a swig of alcohol hoping it would soothe the dryness in my throat. The liquid burned as it went down, causing me to choke for a moment, until I could breathe again. I shuffled along the surprisingly empty sidewalk and clutched my leather jacket around me tighter, as a cold wind swept by. The lights of the city were bright, illuminating the night, but it did nothing to lift my spirit. I felt empty and cold inside, like my heart was permanently frozen in an ice cap. In front of the camera and interviews, I had faked a smile like the breakup wasn't that big of a deal, but inside my soul was shattering and my heart withering. I hid my true emotions from my friends and fans, and tried to heal my pain with alcohol and one night stands. But all I could see when I closed my eyes was Sauli, and the night I found out he was cheating on me. Wetness rolled down my face, and it took me a second to realize they were tears. I reached up and touched my face; my fingers became tinged with black. My eyeliner was running. I laughed bitterly, finding nothing funny in my situation. My laughter soon turned to sobs and I stopped moving, letting my tears freely fall. In a quick spurt of anger, I threw the whiskey bottle against the wall next to me, shattering it instantly. I pulled at my hair, which I hadn't dyed in over two months and let out a cry of frustration. Why can't I get over him?! I thought miserably. Because you love him. My subconscious spoke. I shook my head, refusing to listen to myself, even though I knew my subconscious was right. I loved Sauli, even after the betrayal. I thought he was the** one , **my true love. I guess I was wrong. Even after the breakup, I had tried to call him, demand, and even beg him to tell me why he did it. What had I done wrong to make him do this to me? To cheat on me in my own home, instead of talking out our problems? I repeatedly asked and wondered but never got an answer.

I leaned against a wall and sank down to the ground. I put my elbows on my knees, and buried my face in my hands, crying softly. Oh, Sauli. I miss you so much. I thought sadly. After a minute of this, my hands started to get cold, so I reluctantly tore my hands away from my face and shoved them in the pockets of my jacket. I shivered, feeling the winter air, somehow knowing it was almost my birthday. Even though I had long ago stopped looking at calendars and using social media. I also stopped tweeting, not finding anything worthwhile to talk about. I knew my fans were probably wondering where I was, but I was in too deep of grief to care. I haven't had any new songs out, since the breakup, as well as concerts. I knew that if I tried singing I would break down. I didn't want my fans to see me that way.

I moved my hands around in my pockets a bit, trying to warm them up, when I felt an object touch my palm. It was a small bottle from what I could feel. I pulled out the bottle to get a look at it. Prescription drugs by the looks of it. I turned the bottle over in my hands, looking for a label, but found none. How did this get in my pocket? I wondered, trying to rack my brain for an explanation. I could not think of one.

I stared at the bottle for a long time, just thinking. I'd heard of people overdosing on pills, and always wondered if they died peacefully. Would it hurt? It wouldn't hurt as much as the pain you're feeling now. My subconscious thought. But what about my fans? My friends? My family? How would they feel if I took these and died? But I'm already dying inside. I thought, making up my mind.

I flipped the cap off the bottle and stared at the tiny blue capsules. Please forgive me everyone, I thought before I tilted the bottle and swallowed all the pills. They were small, so they all went down at once. I leaned my head back against the wall and let the bottle roll out of my hand. The stars are so pretty tonight, I thought sleepily, barely hearing a voice call my name. Then all went black.

**Author's Note: Hey guys this is an Adam Lambert fanfic if you didn't know already. The idea for this story is based off of ****No one Mourns the Wicked****, by **Elphaba Fiyerober**. Please check it out and review, it is really awesome. Also please check out one of my other story and r/r. It would mean the world to me. Love you guys, thank you so much for the support. Bumblewolf out!**


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